Behaviour issues

Parenting a young child, while rewarding, is a constant challenge. Here are some strategies to help you with various behavioural issues.

Give children some autonomy

Although children like to feel that overall you are in control, they are at a stage of development when they need to try it out for themselves. They are not testing you -- they are testing their developing ideas or boundaries and powers. So give them choices, even if it is something they must do. "Do you want to put on your coat first or your boots first?" works much better than "Put on your coat now."

Keep your cool

What do you do when your child has pushed your buttons one too many times and you are tempted to start yelling and throwing food back at them? Step back, leave the situation, and calm down. Take a deep breath and:

Take a break. Put your child in a safe place like a crib -- let your feelings out without involving your toddler in your own tantrum, which they would find frightening. As parents it is important to learn about ourselves so we can do this safely.

Call your partner or a close friend and talk about the challenges of your day, preferably not in front of your toddler.

Take a nap when your child does instead of cleaning the house or other chores.

Find ways to reduce your own stress. Make time to practice yoga, take a walk, or play music. Make sure someone you trust is looking after your child so you can do these things without worrying.

Get to know other parents and plan to share child minding so you can get a break.

Keep a diary of your day and note when and why you tend to get angry. If you notice a pattern, try to change what is making you angry.

If you feel you are overwhelmed and afraid you might lose control and hurt your child, get help immediately. Put your child somewhere safe and call a friend, family member or crisis line.