Bonding with your baby

There is nothing like a crying baby to make parents feel helpless, guilty and even angry. But difficult though the crying may be to deal with at times, it is your baby's only way of letting you know that they are unhappy about something. If babies are tired, sick, hungry, frustrated, wet or just plain lonely, they say so by crying. Many newborns, when they aren't eating or sleeping, spend a great deal of time crying. No matter how puzzling or frustrating your baby's crying may seem at first, you will soon learn to understand the reason for the tears and how best to respond. In meantime, you can check this link for ideas on why your baby is crying and what you can do about it.

What does caring and loving touch do for infants? It is a necessary part of developing attachment between the child and parents. It is the beginning of communication between you and your child. Because you make them feel secure, the child learns to trust you and develops an emotional tie to you. The child's response to those feelings of security deepens your feelings of love and protectiveness.

The most important thing parents can do to help develop this attachment is to become careful observers of their child and learn how to interpret her needs. A newborn communicates needs or feelings primarily through crying. When your baby's cry is responded to quickly and warmly, she begins to develop a bond or attachment to you.

What you can do

Hungry or thirsty

• Feed your baby, especially if it is more than two hours since the last feeding. Remember, though, that overfeeding can cause colic.

Uncomfortable

• Burp your baby
• Check diaper pins
• Change the diaper if it is wet or soiled
• Change your baby's position
• Give your baby a gentle back rub
• Check the room temperature to make sure your baby isn't overdressed or underdressed

Insecure

• Wrap your baby snugly in a light blanket
• Create a secure environment by moving slowly and calmly (avoid rushed or jerky movements)
• Hold your baby close to your body and cuddle

Lonely or bored

• Talk or sing to your baby
• Take your baby into a room with others
• Play soothing music
• Rock your baby
• Take your baby for a walk
• Have an interesting toy or mobile for your baby to watch
• Smile at your baby and establish eye contact
• For more information, see the Crying section in Baby's Best Chance: Parents' Handbook of Pregnancy and Baby Care.

Talk to your baby

Talking to a baby while responding to his cry lets him know that his caregiver understands his feelings. Over time, he begins to be comforted by this voice and to understand that words are a way of communicating.